Today there was supposed to be a post about some kind of geekery, something lightweight and introspective on trivial pursuits… you know, good link fodder, but I’m not feelin’ that today. I mean I’m always feeling my own nerditry, but that’s not at the top of my throat… not what’s bubbling in my cholesterol laden heart.
Right now I’m wondering how many people in the world walk around constatnkly concious of the things they’re never going to get to say. The contexts that just won’t occur, allowing the contents of their hearts to finally run free. How many out there who have to keep it bottled up for one reason or another, to protect themselves or others. To maintain the necessary status quo, because heart’s truth can be so disruptive. Because there isn’t always room at the table for emotional honesty.
The day to day becomes encumbered with firewalls of self limitation. Those walls grow from the exterior, social realm inward. What began as the inability to say certain things becomes the inability to think certain thoughts. Then whole categories of potential become stifled under the censor. What you cannot contemplate you cannot perceive. The world itself becomes subject to these limitations until you can no longer see what is right in front of you.
Is it courage alone that abnegates this phenomenon? Stupidity? Where’s the line between self-preservation and self-destruction anyway?
There’s always a choice: hold on to what you have at all costs, or risk everything for the alternative.
