Back in my last lifetime, when I was still the box office manager for the Sketchfest I had a bit of a manic shopping weekend. When I stress I do one of three things:
1) Eat.
2) Buy crap I don’t need.
3) Buy crap I do need, only probably won’t use.
That weekend I was practicing all three disciplines when Target sent around its advertising circular featuring this little gem:
The Perfect Pushup.
That’s right, as seen on TV, every damn time I’ve been in the gym for the past four months… which admittedly is not enough by a mile… I’ve seen this little gismo. Aside from the full on bowflex machine its also the only exercise device I’ve ever seen on TV that I didn’t think was a complete joke.
Cut to the chase: I picked one up. They’re actually pretty awesome. Until I got sick last week I was following the routine religiously, and I could feel the difference. I was already starting to carry myself differently, this just after a week and a half of use. Go ahead, do the math. That’s right, I put off using it for two weeks while the rest of this crazy life of mine sorts itself out.
Now I’ve been off the regimen for four days (as of this writing) and I can feel my body falling apart again. I mean falling more apart. Being a half-lard ass. Falling apart is a matter of relative degrees of sloth. Which also explains a lack of “Locker Room Rogues” posts. That and all the weirdos in Berkeley have been too buy hanging out with Medea Benjamin in front of the Marine Recruitment Center… but I digress.
The PP… heh… is designed to lessen the stress put on the joints in the arms when you perform a push-up. Anyone who has seen the ad knows this. I’m here to tell you that its effective. I only wish I had a pair of the travel size units to take with me on the road, since there’s no way I’m going to throw those in my check-in bag. Too big for one, and on the other hand I fear the TSA will see them on the X-Ray and think that they’re some kind of experimental magnetic coupler device that I’m taking to a meeting of the M.A.R.S. organization.
If you got that joke your head will explode when I tell you that they cast Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Cobra Commander.
AND SCENE!
The goal for March is to have a nice, un-sickness interrupted run with these gadgets, and let y’all know what happens. So far, so good.
1 Comment
February 26, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Cobra was always a bunch of pussies, but come ON! The crazy naked chick from Alfie as The Baroness? The kid from 3rd Rock as Cobra Commander? Jebus, next it’s gonna be Jaleel White as Destro and Freddie Prinze Jr as Duke.